


Gettin' Hot n' Steamy.......but not really

by IrisofParadise



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: 7 times + 1, AU, I also can't write smut so we'll see how that goes later, M/M, Smut, badly written but still there, very very AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 05:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4734266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisofParadise/pseuds/IrisofParadise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Vladimir and Matt try to go at it like rabbits but scar everyone for life instead.</p><p>Or seven times they got caught and once they didn't and the one time that Anatoly got revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was inspired by thisisnothowidie on tumblr. If you're not following her, you should. Her preferences are amazing.

Really, this was not Matt's fault and he did not know how he had gotten into this situation. He had been in the passenger seat of the cab with Vladimir who was driving and humming along to some Nicki Minaj song. Later Matt would say it was the smell of vodka, the slight linger of cigarette smoke, and just the warmth radiating from the Russian that caused for him to say, “Pull over.”

 

“Why? Not even close to your place,” Vladimir scoffed out before going back to humming along to the radio.

 

Matt rolled his eyes, undid the seat belt, leaned over so that he was practically on top of the Russian, and began to suck and nibble his way up and down Vladimir's neck until he reached the blonde's mouth. Vladimir gave a low groan and leaned his head back slightly, smirk growing on his face. Until a car honked their horn at them and the driver leaned out of the window to curse loudly at them.

 

Vladimir jerked the wheel and Matt fell back into his seat, head hitting the window with a thud noise. The blind man gave a groan of discomfort as he rubbed the back of his head. “Mudak! I am driving!” Vladimir yelled out as he glared at the blind man, refusing to think about how almost cute the brunette looked with his glasses crooked on his face.

 

The brunette just fixed his glasses on his face and scowled. “I told you to pull over you dick!” The lawyer hissed back.

 

“Well maybe I will!” Vladimir just yelled back before jerking the wheel some more and pressing his foot down harder on the gas pedal.

 

“Good!”

 

“Fine!” Then Vladimir was yelling in Russian and honking the horn as he waved his arm around at the other drivers.

 

Matt gave a scoff. “Your driving sucks.”

 

“You are one to talk! I am sure you are shitty driver!” Vladimir just snapped back as he honked the horn repeatedly at the red light, ignoring the odd looks he was receiving.

 

Matt gave a deadpanned expression back but didn't say anything.

 

It wasn't very long until Vladimir was parking the car in a rather shady spot near an alley and he was shoving Matt to the backseat, Matt grinning as he was shoved into the seat and Vladimir climbing on top of him. A flurry of clothes being pushed and shoved and pulled between harsh kisses and bites.

 

Matt frowned as Vladimir tugged too hard on his button up and the shirt ripped but chose not to say anything in favor of giving a low moan as the Russian was quickly leaving marks along his collarbone. He pinched the blonde on his hip as he felt the smirk pressed against his neck.

 

Vladimir just smirked even more if possible and pushed Matt further into the seat before popping the button of Matt's pants undone. Matt gave a quiet groan and leaned his head back slightly as he felt his pants being tugged down slowly, Vladimir still smirking and sucking at his neck. Matt's fingers threading through the short blonde strands.

 

They didn't hear the footsteps outside. And in Matt's defense he's blind and therefore can't see as the flashlight is flashed into the window. Vladimir either doesn't notice or doesn't care though. And the only thing Matt can even think to say as the car door is thrown open is, “Okay. I'm sure this looks bad.”

 

The response that he received was a scoff along with, “I have half a mind to give you a ticket Murdock.”

 

A pause and then the blind man gave a wide grin. “Hey Brett.”

 

Vladimir was still skimming his finger tips down Matt's sides, the light touches sending miniature shock waves throughout the blind man. Matt nudged Vladimir in the stomach with his knee as the blonde continued with his touching and scoffing at the cop. The Russian glared slightly and began to say what Matt was sure was some rather unpleasant Russian cursing.

 

Brett sighed. “Get out of the car,” he stated, but as the couple began to move he gave a wince and a glare. “On second thought, just stay there.”

 

Vladimir glared. “Gladly.” He ignored the jab to his ribs from the man lying beneath him.

 

The cop just groaned again and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I was originally called because of a reckless cab driver. I'm assuming it was one of you.”

 

Matt gave the man a blank look. “Yes, I'm sorry. It was me.”

 

Vladimir gave a quiet laugh that he muffled into Matt's neck. Matt grinned and caressed the man's sides. Brett rolled his eyes. “I'm giving a ticket for reckless driving. Because you're a friend Murdock, I won't give you a ticket for public indecency. Now get the hell out of here you two.” And with that a ticket was thrown onto Matt's face and the door to the car was slammed shut.

 

But the couple stayed where they were. "We could continue now, da?" Matt debated on giving in.

 

Until a car honked their horn from behind them.

 

Then they slowly began to try to straighten their clothes and slide into the front seats.

 

“That could have gone better,” Vladimir grumbled out in a huffy tone.

 

Matt snorted.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anatoly catches them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also inspired by thisisnothowidie on tumblr. Again, her preferences are amazing and you should follow her on tumblr.

It had been just over a week since the last incident, which is what Matt had decided to dub the being caught in a cab half naked by a cop. Vladimir had just shrugged and called in unfortunate.

 

But now the two were naked and gasping for breath between gasping out the others name. Vladimir occasionally groaning out in Russian, which Matt refused to admit was definitely a turn on for him. Matt pressed closer to Vladimir's chest and gave a moan at the extra skin to skin contact.

 

Anatoly had been on his way back to the building but stopped short as he saw ten of the men just sitting outside of the door.  _“What the hell?”_

 

Everyone avoided his gaze and this seemed to piss the man off even more.  _“What is going on? Why are you all sitting outside? Sergei.”_

 

The man in question gave a wince and a pleading look to the others. They all just either avoided his gaze completely or shook their heads at him in a 'You're on your own', kind of way.  _“Ah Vladimir and Matthew are... busy.”_

 

Anatoly rolled his eyes.  _“So they're fighting again. They are always fighting.”_ He made to move past them but was shocked as one, Dmitri, grabbed a hold of his arm and shook his head. “What?”

 

“They're ah...” Sergei looked away uncomfortably. 

 

“Oh for the love of- _they're having sex in one of the cabs again!”_ Dmitri hissed out. 

 

Sergei gave a nod. “Da. That.”

 

Anatoly just blinked as he took in this information. _"Again?"_ Then he stormed his way into the garage.  _“I swear to God if it is in my car I am killing them both,”_ he grumbled to himself under his breath. The rest of the men wincing as they followed after the brunette. 

 

And really it was going too well for the couple considering they were once again in a cab, this one with leather seats, and said cab was in the garage where usually most of Vladimir's men were. So it really wasn't much of a shock that the door was thrown open by a very peeved Anatoly.  _“Get the fuck out of my car you disgusting animals!”_ He yelled out in Russian. The brunette made a disgusted face. “Put your clothes back on and get out!” He yelled out in English so that Matt would understand before slamming the door shut. 

 

He turned so that his back was to the window to give them some privacy but scowled as he heard thuds and manic laughter which he automatically recognized as his brother's. When the moans started back up though he slammed his fist against the window. “Get the fuck out already!”

 

A moment and the door began to open slightly. Anatoly moved so he could open the door the rest of the way and glared at his brother. “Office. Now.” 

 

“ _But Matvey-”_

 

“ _Office. Now.”_ Anatoly just restated, this time in Russian, before grumbling about having to replace the interior of his favorite car as he lead the way to the office. 

 

Vladimir just rolled his eyes and glared at the rest of the men. “What are you all staring at? Get back to work!” He smirked as they all began to trip over themselves as they ran to get away from what they were sure was going to be a yelling match between the brothers. 

 

Matt sighed but was still grinning. “I should probably leave then.”

 

“Probably. Before Tolya sees inside of car.”

 

A pause. Then, “Is it bad?” Matt couldn't help the smirk he gave though.

 

Vladimir rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. “I think he may try to kill us.”

 

“Ah. That bad. I'm leaving then. Have some work to do,” Matt said as he turned to leave the garage. 

 

Vladimir stared after him with a smirk.  _“I hate it when you leave, but damn I love to watch you go,”_ he mumbled to himself almost dazedly. 

 

“ _VLADIMIR!”_

 

The blonde rolled his eyes but turned to make his way to the office. _“I'm coming, I'm coming!”_

 

“ _YOU BETTER NOT BE!”_

 

Vladimir just snickered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Foggy catches them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Foggy catches them. Donuts are left on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not very long, I'm sorry.

It was only three days after the Anatoly incident when Vladimir stormed into Nelson and Murdock and he was pulling Matt close and pushing until the back of Matt's legs hit Karen's desk. Vladimir began to push the blind man's shirt off, tugging the tie loose, as Matt worked on the Russian's pants.

 

The smell of fresh donuts and Foggy's aftershave from downstairs really should have been enough warning for Matt to warn Vladimir and tell the man to pull his pants back up but if he were being honest, Matt was not paying attention to anything except for the Russian's heartbeat.

 

So when the door to the office opened and Foggy's, “Good morning my won- Ahhh! OH MY GOD MY EYES! I'M BLIND! NOW I HAVE TO BECOME A SUPERHERO TOO AND BE YOUR SIDEKICK MATTY AND MY ORIGIN STORY SUCKS!” The blonde man yelled, hands over his eyes, box of donuts laying on the floor.

 

Matt rolled his eyes but didn't move to pull his shirt back on or zip his pants back up. “Don't you think you're being a bit ridiculous?”

 

“Says the one who would parkour his ass into our dorm just to give the lame joke that he's blind!” Foggy yelled back, refusing to remove his hands from his eyes. The donuts lay forgotten at his feet

 

“It was one time!” Matt yelled back, a light blush painting its way across his face. Vladimir raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

 

Foggy groaned. “Just put your pants back on! Both of you! Before Karen gets here! Or worse, clients!” He ignored Matt's, "What clients?"

 

Vladimir gave a huff. “Do we really have to?”

 

Matt rolled his eyes but gave a sigh. “Unfortunately, yes. I have work.”

 

“We finish later, da?” Vladimir groaned out against Matt's mouth.

 

The brunette gave a low moan and nodded. But quickly scowled as Foggy began to bang on the door and shout, “Honestly you two! I can still hear you!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Sergei catches them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sergei catches them and is scarred for life.

Turns out that later, was actually that same night. And not in the most cleanest of places. Matt ignored the smell of the bathroom and the alcohol though in favor of focusing on Vladimir's body pressing against his. The smell of vodka and Vladimir's cologne surrounding them.

 

Again, not the best of places to have sex, but the bathroom in the bar was not the worst places to do it at. Vladimir was groaning out words in Russian into Matt's ear as he lifted the slightly smaller man so that he could wrap his legs around his waist, which Matt gladly did before sucking a harsh hickey into the side of the blonde's neck.

 

The door opens. “Hey boss, shit Fisk and hi- AHHH!”

 

Really it's a shock to Matt that Vladimir doesn't drop him in surprise. “Get the fuck out!” Vladimir yells back as the man stares at them in shock, face pale.

 

The door is quickly shut and Matt just sighs. “The mood has been killed. Get out of me,” he states simply as he motions for the Russian to do as he said.

 

Vladimir doesn't just yet and instead scoffs out, “What mood?! We are in bathroom in bar!”

  
Matt glares. “The mood I was in to allow you to bring me back here!”

 

A momentary pause. And he does as Matt said.

 

“...you make good point.” He puts Matt down and the two begin to tug their clothes back on.

 

Matt covers his shock rather well. It's not often that Vladimir concedes and says that Matt is right. The Russian and he are both too stubborn for their own good. “Damn right I do! I'm a lawyer!”

 

“...da, mood is dead. Just like our sex life.” Vladimir grumbles out, not liking how Matt wanted to relish in the fact that Vladimir had said he was right.

 

Matt glared at his general direction as he hissed back, “And who's fault would that be?!”

 

“Sergei's!”

 

“Mhmm. Sure.” Matt rolls his eyes, arms crossing over his still bare chest.

 

Vladimir scowls. “Is not my fault we keep getting caught!”

 

“Well it's not mine either!”

 

The Russian throws his arms up. “I cannot deal with you tonight. Go get punched in face by low life criminals!”

 

“I hope you get shot again!” Matt snaps back.

 

Vladimir just barely stops himself from punching the man. “Fuck you!”

 

“You wish but the mood is ruined!” Matt says simply before leaving the bathroom.

 

He ignores as Vladimir curses loudly in Russian.

 

An hour later and the Devil of Hell's Kitchen has beat up quite a few criminals and stopped the Russians from kidnapping a few women.

 

Dimitri groans as he's punched in the face. _“Just because you and the boss are fighting doesn't mean you have to hit us!”_ This earns him another punch.

 

“I don't speak asshole and I am so sick of hearing Russian tonight!” Matt practically hisses. He sometimes forgets that the Russians know about him being the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. Forgets that they know about him dating, though that may be too strong a word at some times, Vladimir. And forgets that they're under direct orders not to lay a hand on him even when he's handing their asses to them.

 

That doesn't stop one of them, Piotr, from punching him in the face. The Russians stand there for a moment, shocked. Then Piotr states shakily, “Vladimir is going to have my head!”

 

At the same time that Dimitri mumbles, “Vladimir is going to have your head.”

 

Matt just stand there and rubs his now aching jaw. “I can't believe you just landed a punch on me.”

 

Piotr pales at the reminder. “Was reflex! Don't tell Vladimir!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anatoly catches them again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anatoly catches them. Again. He is unamused. Vladimir is unamused. Matt is amused.

Four days later and Matt and Vladimir are pushing and shoving each other all of the way to the Russian's apartment where the door is slammed shut behind them and Matt is lifted and carried all of the way into the bedroom. He undoes the buttons on Vladimir's shirt and pushes it off of the taller man.

 

A small hiss of pain escapes his mouth as he's pushed against the bedroom door, his back still sore and bleeding lightly where he was thrown out of a window and into a dumpster. He doesn't know if Vladimir can smell it but he doesn't mention it as the door is practically kicked open.

 

There are multiple thunking noises as Vladimir kicks his shoes off and pulls Matt's boots off, the mask following after. Matt is dropped onto the bed and let's out a noise as Vladimir lands on top of him. Their pants are kicked off and thrown somewhere, landing with a thud. A rustle of fabric and soon their boxers are gone as well.

 

Matt wrinkles his nose at the odd smell surrounding them. He can't quite place it. But it smells familiar. He quickly loses his train of thought as Vladimir slides into him, both letting out a moan.

 

It's not even two minutes when the door is thrown open and, “The fuck?! Why?!”

 

Vladimir glares at his brother and throws one of the many pillows at the brunette's disgusted face. “Would you get out!”

 

“Why?!” Anatoly repeats shocked. “THIS IS MY ROOM!”

 

Vladimir makes a face now. “No it's not?”

 

Anatoly just barely stops himself from springing across the room and choking his younger brother. “Yes! Yes it is! VLADIMIR THAT IS MY BED!”

 

The blonde looks around. And notices that yes. This is in fact, not his bedroom. He turns to grin slightly sheepishly at his brother. “Oops?” He offers.

 

“Oops? Oops?! Vladimir get the fuck out of your boyfriend so you can get the fuck out of my bed so you can get the hell out of room!” The door is slammed shut.

 

Matt snaps his fingers. “Ah. That's the smell. No wonder it was familiar.” He moves his hips slightly in an attempt to get Vladimir to move again.

 

But now Vladimir is staring at him with an odd expression. “You knew it smelled like Toly?”

 

The blind man gives a shrug. “Honestly it doesn't smell too bad. It's fine. Move.”

 

Vladimir doesn't move. Except to get off of Matt. “...mood is ruined. I'm leaving.” He begins to search for his clothes and put them back on, Matt sitting up with an eyebrow raised.

 

“You live here.”

 

“I am leaving!” The door is slammed shut. There is yelling. And Anatoly laughing. Then the door to the apartment being slammed shut.

 

It's three hours until Vladimir returns at nearly four in the morning and when he enters the apartment he is shocked to see Anatoly and Matt on the couch, a cup of coffee in their hands. “What are you doing here?” He asks Matt.

 

The blind man just raises an eyebrow. “Chilling with your brother. What else?”

 

Vladimir glances at Anatoly who has the biggest shit eating smirk on his face and he glares at the elder man. “I don't want to hear one word from you Tolya.”

 

“I wasn't saying anything,” Anatoly states before taking a gulp of his coffee.

 

“You are thinking it though!” Vladimir yells back.

 

Anatoly scoffs. “Well duh.”

 

Matt just rolls his eyes. “I swear, you two are children.”

 

The blonde turns to glare at him but instead ends up tilting his head in confusion. “Are those my clothes?”

 

Matt flushes slightly. Sure enough, he is in an extra pair of Vladimir's sweat pants and a t-shirt that is a bit loose. “I wasn't staying in my ripped and bloody clothes,” he grumbles out before taking a gulp from his now lukewarm coffee, the taste a bit too bitter but he ignores it.

 

Vladimir smirks and Anatoly groans. “Matvey-”

 

“Your boyfriend likes the way I smell and you two better go to your room if you're doing shit!” Anatoly interrupts, hands over his ears as he rolls his eyes before making his way to his bedroom, cup of coffee sitting forgotten on the coffee table.

 

Vladimir shoots one last glare at his brother's retreating back before turning back to Matt. “Is that true? You like the way my brat'ya smells?” Vladimir huffs out, taking the cup from the lawyer and placing it next to his brother's forgotten cup. He tugs the blind man until Matt is straddling his lap.

 

Matt smirks slightly. “Well it's not a bad smell. Why? Does that upset you?”

 

The Russian makes a face. “You are mine.”

 

“I thought you shared everything with Anatoly,” Matt quips back with a smirk. His smirk quickly turns into a low moan though as Vladimir smacks his thigh and groans out, “Mine,” into his neck.

 

Anatoly covers his head with his pillow from his spot on the bedroom floor, there wasn't a chance in hell that he was sleeping in the bed, and he considers slipping arsenic into their breakfast but his train of thought is broken as Vladimir let's out a loud, “Come for daddy!” And Matt does as he's told.

 

“ _For the love of all that is holy, why me? If this is punishment for all of the bad things I've done, I'll go to church just make it stop.”_ Anatoly groans to himself as he covers his ears. It still doesn't drown out the moans. _“How are you two still able to continue?! Worst night ever. I'd rather be in Utkin again!”_ More moaning noises. A thud. _"I have to burn the furniture in this place now."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Clint catches them in the act!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is sad. Kate is peeved. Vladimir wonders what is his life even at this point.

Visiting Clint had been a good idea at the time. He hadn't seen the man since he had had that barbecue and so to get out of the city for a while and visit Clint in Iowa, well again, it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

But he didn't need to be able to see to know that the man was glaring at him and Vladimir.

 

Another thing that had seemed like a good idea at the time was having sex with the Russian on Clint's trampoline.

 

Their clothes are lying in random spots on the trampoline or the grass, same with their shoes. And Clint is now staring at them with a mixture of shock and disgust painted across his face. “Are you two serious right now?! Like this is seriously happening?! Murdock, Kate and I jump on that and shoot! How am I supposed to explain that I had to burn the trampoline because you two couldn't keep it in your pants or at the very least do it in a bed like normal people?!”

 

Matt just makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a choked back laugh and shrugs. Vladimir moves to stand up and ignores as Clint makes a disgusted noise and covers his eyes. “Oh come on! I'm not blind! I can see you!”

 

Vladimir smirks. “Is good, da?”

 

“No! No it is not!” Clint snaps back. Vladimir rolls his eyes but begins to pull his pants back on, throwing Matt's jeans at his face.

 

Matt has to stop himself from laughing at the mans distress. “Vladimir don't be a dick.” The blonde just mumbles back in Russian that Matt can't understand.

 

“How are you two even managing to have sex on a trampoline anyway?” Clint asks, hand still over his eyes.

 

Vladimir gives Matt a look as Matt gives Vladimir's general direction a look.

 

“Very carefully,” Vladimir says with a shrug as he tugs his shirt back over his head.

 

Matt nods in agreement. “Sheer luck that we hadn't fallen off honestly. Pure skill.”

 

Clint rolls his eyes. “Why would you even want to? Why my trampoline?”

 

Matt grins. “It was on my bucket list.”

 

The deaf man gives a loud groan of exasperation before turning to go back into the house. “I hate you Murdock!” is thrown over his shoulder to the laughing blind man.

 

A week later and there is a knock at the door. Vladimir is more than happy to get off of Matt's couch. “Da?” He says at the girl with the big sunglasses on her face.

 

She pops a bubble with her gum. “Are you Vladimir? As in dating Matt Murdock?”

 

Vladimir narrows his eyes. “Who wants to know?”

 

She took the glasses off, the sudden harshness of her glare almost scaring the Russian. “Kate Bishop. Hawkeye. As in the girl who's trampoline you two had sex on. As in my trampoline has been set on fire you sick freak!” She states simply before slapping him across the face. Hard.

 

Vladimir rubs at his cheek, eyes wide in shock.

 

“Is Murdock here?!” She says, pushing her way past him and into the apartment.

 

“Nyet. He is working,” Vladimir spits back, eyes narrowed in a glare.

 

She storms her way back over to him. “Then you can give him this,” and she kicks him in the shin, “from me. And Clint. Do you know what it's like to see a grown man cry? It's not very fun.” She says before slamming the door shut behind her, still popping her gum.

 

Vladimir is now rubbing at his shin and just wondering what just happened and is still in the same position four hours later when Matt returns home.

 

“A Kate Bishop sends you kick in shin for making Clint cry.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adopting had seemed like a good idea. Until said child catches them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adopting had seemed like a good idea. Until their daughter walked in on them.

Adopting had seemed like a good idea. They had been together for a few years, were still not married but happy with their relationship most days of the week. And so adopting had seemed like a good idea.

 

And when they were in Russia, because Anatoly and Vladimir were adamant about adopting from Russia, and Vladimir saw the little four year old brunette girl punch a boy twice her age in the face he knew that she was the one that had to come home with them. So after a very long process they were the proud parents of a little four year old with no sense of humor and too much sass.

 

It had been five years since the incident with Clint and Kate and Vladimir and Matt were more than pleased with the five years of uninterrupted sex. Two years since they had adopted their daughter, Vasilisa. So really, it was about time that they were interrupted. Especially considering they lived in an apartment with Anatoly.

 

As it turned it out, it was partially Anatoly's fault that their six year old walked into the room, considering he had sent her to get her parents because dinner was nearly ready. “Why are you two naked? What are you doing to Daddy, Papa?!”

 

Matt shoved Vladimir off of him and pulled the sheets up to cover them both, face red from embarrassment.

 

Vladimir panicked. “Uh... wrestling?”

 

“Why naked?” Vasilisa asked, hand still on the doorknob, head tilted in confusion as she stared at them.

 

“Is traditional!” The blonde yelled, voice in a slightly higher pitch now.

 

Vasilisa wrinkled her nose. “In what culture?”

 

There's a pause and it is completely silent, the only sound in the apartment is Anatoly in the kitchen cooking. The Vladimir just yelling out,“...Matvey! Your child is being devil spawn!”

 

“Why is she suddenly my child?!” Matt yelled back, making a face as Vladimir panicked.

 

“When she acts like you she is yours!” Comes the simple response, Vladimir's voice still slightly higher than normal.

 

Matt scoffs and turns to where Vasilisa's heartbeat is. “Baby, why don't you go help Uncle Anatoly with dinner and we'll be right out, okay?”

 

The only answer he gets is the door shutting quietly behind her. “Well that's different. Normally the door is slammed shut,” Matt breathes out before flopping to lie back against the pillows.

 

Vladimir is covering his face and groaning. “Our daughter just walked in on us having sex.” He says this repeatedly in a mix of English and Russian as they get dressed.

 

Vasilisa is on Vladimir's phone at the table, giving up on helping Anatoly set the table in favor of googling what culture wrestles naked. Other than Ancient Greece, not much is popping up.

 

“Uncle Tolya?”

 

“Da?” Anatoly doesn't even turn to look at her as he stirs the soup.

 

“What culture wrestles naked?”

 

The brunette man turns to give the child an odd look. “Chto?”

 

“Papa and Daddy were wrestling naked and said it was traditional but won't tell me to what culture,” Vasilisa stated, phone placed on the table now.

 

Anatoly nearly dropped the spoon. “Excuse me what?”

 

Vasilisa huffed but repeated her question. Anatoly sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I do not think I should have to give you that talk.”

 

“What talk?”

 

“Vladimir! Matthew! Explain to your child what you were doing!” Anatoly yells as he sees the couple entering the kitchen.

 

Vladimir groans. “Tolya why?!”

 

“Maybe you should learn to lock door. Or teach your child to knock. But I am not giving her that talk!” Anatoly snaps back, rolling his eyes at the blonde.

 

Matt and Vladimir both groan, uncomfortable with the new situation they are in.

 

Finally Anatoly just scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Just tell her how babies are made Volodya.”

 

“I WILL NOT!” The blonde practically screeches out. Matt winced and rubbed at his ear.

 

The small child just made a face. “What does this this have to do with babies? … ARE YOU TWO TRYING TO HAVE A BABY?! NO! NYET!” She yelled out before bursting into tears. Anatoly rolled his eyes again and glared at the two men.

 

“...guess this means we can't adopt later huh?” Matt asked sheepishly in an attempt to lighten the mood.

 

Vladimir shook his head and sighed out a quiet, “Nyet.”

 

Matt moves to sit down beside the crying child and hugs her close. “Uhm. Well, what your papa and I were doing is completely natural.” Anatoly scoffs into his vodka. Matt shoots him a glare in his general direction. “When two people like each other... They sometimes... They do... Things? Vladimir help.”

 

Vladimir shakes his head. “Nyet.”

 

“Asshole.”

 

The blonde throws his arms up. “I think she's been through enough! Why make her suffer anymore?!”

 

Anatoly made a noise as if agreeing.

  
Matt gave an annoyed graon. “But how will she learn?”

 

Anatoly shrugged. “School? Practice? Trial and error?” And he promptly grinned as the brunette glared at him. He gave a wink to his giggling niece.

 

“She most certainly will not learn like that!” Matt yelled back, hugging the child closer to him as if that would shield her from Anatoly's bad advice.

 

Vladimir made a face but shrugged. “That's how I learned.”

 

“You are not helping!”

 

Vasilisa groaned. “I just want to know what making babies has to do with wrestling!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You cannot tell me that Vladimir would be comfortable explaining sex to his child.
> 
> And next is the one time they are uninterrupted.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one time they don't get caught. But they do get a surprise.

Matt focused on the noise surrounding him. To be more specific, he was focusing on the lack of noise. He grinned as he realized that he was alone with Vladimir, there was no seven year old. No Anatoly. No anyone really. And it was amazing.

 

Vladimir seemed to realize that they were alone at the same time as he did and just said simply, “Race you to bed?” Accent thick as he gave Matt a long look over that the blind man didn't need to be able to see to know about.

  
“You're on!”

 

And then the two were pushing and shoving each other into the bedroom, door shutting behind them due more to habit than anything else really. The brunette grinned against Vladimir's mouth, pushing him until the blonde was falling onto the bed, his hands on Matt's hips and Matt landing on top of him.

 

They sit up slowly, Vladimir's hands playing with the hair at the back of Matt's neck, Matt still on top of Vladimir's lap. Matt gives a low moan before connecting their mouths together. The kiss is deep and long and they begin to slowly tug the others shirt off, only breaking apart from their heated kiss to throw said shirts to the floor.

 

Vladimir maneuvered so that Matt was now lying underneath him, their mouths pressed firmly together, his tongue lightly grazing Matt's bottom lip. A soft moan escaped from Matt at the tickling sensation. The blonde smirked against the man's mouth. “Could you not be a smug bastard right now?” Matt groaned out, though the warm smile never left his face.

 

The only response he received was Vladimir grabbing his leg and pulling it up to wrap around his hips along with some mumbled Russian. Matt huffed out a breath but dragged the blonde back in for another deep kiss, grinning as the blonde gave a low moan, tightening his hold on Matt's thigh before lightly grazing his fingers lightly up and down the blind man's thigh. Vladimir broke the kiss to press heated open mouthed kisses and a smirk along Matt's neck as the younger man shook slightly from the sensations.

 

One more lazy kiss was pressed to Matt's mouth before Vladimir stared down at the body beneath him. His hands moved carefully across strong muscles and skin, each scar was a landmark for him to memorize for later, no matter how many times he had already practically worshiped the man lying under him, though if asked, he would refuse to admit it. Warm, plush lips greeted his in a fierce kiss, equally courageous hands caressing down his back till they rested just above his jeans, then slowly trailed lower to grab onto Vladimir's ass.

 

Vladimir gave a groan and an eye-roll but pushed forward slightly, relishing in the way that Matt began to squirm, and squirm even more as he began to kiss and nip his way down the man's throat to his chest and lower still. Matt couldn't stop fidgeting. After everything they'd been through, it was hard to imagine that they could just relax and enjoy each other like this. Have slow sex for once. And each brush of skin, nip, or kiss had his mind reeling. A shaky groan escaped him. The lips on his abdomen were driving him crazier and crazier still as they traveled lower.

 

The fabric of his jeans scratched slightly as they were dragged down to his knees where he helpfully kicked them off, boxers following after them. The lips returned to his lower abdomen and he practically prayed for them to go lower. When they didn't he gave a groan of disappointment. Vladimir smirked as the brunette writhed under him. “What's wrong, Matvey?”

 

Matt glared up and hoped that it affected the Russian but judging by the low chuckle it did not. “You know what's wrong.” The Russian smirks and presses their mouths together in a heated kiss, tongues dancing from one mouth to the other before he draws back. “I think I am wearing far too much clothing.”

 

Now Matt smirks too. “I think you're right,” he breathes out, hands skimming down Vladimir's stomach until he reached his jeans where he slowly undid the button and even slower unzipped the man's pants. He smirked as Vladimir gave a groan at the feather light touches and pressed his forehead against Matt's. Once his jeans were pushed down slightly he kicked them and his boxers off before leaning forward so that he was pressed chest to chest to the younger man. Matt gave another small shudder as the feeling of skin to skin was almost too much for him.

 

It was slow, yet fast at the same time. Their bodies clashed together in a fury of passion while moans, groans, and pants were exchanged between the two as they rode each other to completion. Names were breathed out, barely audible to even Matt. They were so close together by the end that Matt couldn't tell where he ended and Vladimir began. A low moan and groan signaled the end of their passion and as they lied together the spent and satisfied lovers lazily shared smiles and a few quick kisses before Vladimir pulled away to lay on his back, Matt resting his head over his racing heart.

 

~oOo~

 

Anatoly stood in the living room, hands over Vasilisa's ears as he heard everything going on in the bedroom. He glanced over and was glad to see that he was not the only one who was mildly uncomfortable. Foggy was pale and looking at the floor currently. Karen was standing with her hand over her mouth and Anatoly couldn't tell if she was trying not to scream or laugh. Kate had her back to him and her shoulders were shaking and again, Anatoly couldn't tell if the woman was laughing or crying.

 

Clint was the only one beaming. “By the looks on your faces, I take it that they are going at it like rabbits. Am I right or am I right?” He breathed out with a gleeful expression. “I'm so glad I forgot my aids guys!” He almost laughed as Foggy flipped him off.

 

Anatoly turned to lead the child out of the apartment. “Someone leave them a note with their cake. Vasya and I are staying at hotel or something.”

 

Foggy makes a face and leaves the cake on the coffee table. Clint leaves a note next to it and has to almost carry Kate out of the apartment, she's laughing too hard to herself.

 

~oOo~

 

Vladimir is humming softly, some Russian lullaby, and Matt is completely calm and relaxed. Suddenly the hums stop and Vladimir says quietly, “Round two now? Da?”

 

Matt scoffs but raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?” He gives a small shudder as the blonde trails his finger tips up and down his back but his moan quickly turns into a startled gasp as he's flipped onto his back and Vladimir re-positions himself between the American's legs. The Russian gives a devilish smile that Matt can almost feel and the blind man just lets out a loud moan of, “Yes... please... God...”

 

~oOo~

 

It's late when they finally get out of the bed, worried because they haven't heard from Anatoly and Vasilisa since they left that morning to run errands. So when they step into the living room and Matt sniffs the air he's rather confused as the smell of other people and cake fill his senses.

 

Vladimir is reading over the simple note and looking at the cake with a raised eyebrow.

 

“What's it say?”

 

A pause. “ _Happy Anniversary Assholes. Enjoy it. We didn't._ ”

 

Matt gives Vladimir an odd look. “It's our anniversary?”

 

Vladimir shrugs and sucks the icing off his finger. “Guess so.”

 

“That explains so much actually. How we got away with so much free time today.” Now it's Matt who has the devilish expression. “I can think of some other ways that we can enjoy the rest of the night too.” The cake is forgotten.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Anatoly gets his revenge for the couple having sex in his car and bed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anatoly gets his revenge. And a possible date? Vladimir, Matt, and Vasilisa are unamused

It was only six days since Vladimir and Matt's anniversary when Anatoly decided that it was time. Anatoly grinned, almost in a sadistic manner, as he stared up at the ceiling as the other man straightened his shirt then tie. “As much as I enjoy watching you be gleeful, this is not going to be a recurring thing, are we understood?” The man didn't even spare Anatoly a glance as he slid his glasses back onto his face.

 

The Russian just rolled his eyes. “As if I'd want it to be,” the brunette just scoffed out, arms tucked behind his head, smug expression still in place.

 

Wesley gave a small smirk. “Be sure to tell me which one freaks out more. My money is on your brother.”

 

Anatoly let out a loud laugh. “Really? Mine is on Matvey.”

 

The other man didn't say anything, just finished straightening his clothes and left the bedroom with a, “Make sure they know that the sheets are amazing,” thrown over his shoulder, rolling his eyes as the brunette still in the bed just laughed harder. He raised an eyebrow as he opened the door and stared at Vladimir and Matt, a quick glance down and he was staring into the gray eyes of their daughter.

 

“Who are you?” She asked, head tilted. Vladimir growled out a rather rude word in Russian and she giggled as Matt elbowed him in the arm.

 

Wesley smirked but glanced back down at her. “Wesley.”

 

“That's a dumb name. You look like a snot!” The child exclaimed with a grin.

 

Matt couldn't help but snort out a laugh that he tried to muffle as a cough. Vladimir on the other hand just gave a huge grin and pat the child on the head. “Da, he is.”

 

The man still in the apartment just scowled. “Charming child you have there. Well, I must be on my way now, enjoy the rest of your day.” And he began to make his way down the hall to the elevator, a mumble of, “Brat,” under his breath that only Matt heard.

 

Once he was gone though Matt smelled the air and promptly made a look of pure and utter disgust. “Oh for fucks sake, hell no,” he yelled before storming into the apartment, a confused Vladimir and Vasilisa following after him. Vladimir let out a yell and quickly covered Vasilisa's eyes, even though she let out an annoyed huff and tried to move his hand away from her face, as he saw his brother lying in his bed.

 

The elder Russian just grinned even more. “What's wrong Volodya?” He practically sang out.

 

The blonde scowled. “You bastard! That is my bed! Why with him?! You really had to with Fisk's lapdog in my bed?!”

 

Anatoly shrugged and smirked as Matt ran a hand through his hair. “Anatoly!”

 

“Da?”

 

“Those are silk sheets! Those are my favorite silk sheets!” Matt yelled out in frustration.

 

This only caused for Anatoly to say in a very gleeful tone, “I am aware and James and I enjoyed them.” He stood up, sheets falling from his body. “Well, I'm going back to my room now, you two have fun.” He gave Vasilisa a pat on the head as he passed and she wrinkled her nose as he shut his bedroom door.

 

“Why is Uncle Anatoly naked?”

 

Vladimir made a face. “Because he is disgusting! I don't think I can forgive you for this Anatoly!”

 

“I can live with that! I haven't forgiven you two for ruining my car and I only just forgave you for ruining my bed!” Came the yelled back retort.

 

Vasilisa looked between her two parents and scrunched up her nose a bit. “Does this mean I can go around naked?”

 

Both Vladimir and Matt let out a groan. “No.” “Nyet.”

 

She let out a huff. “Awh.”

 

Anatoly picked up his phone and sent a text to Wesley. _“They both freaked out fairly equally. Coffee?”_

 

“ _You pay.”_

 

“ _Deal.”_

 

Matt covered his nose as he carefully lifted the sheets from the bed off of his side. The smell of sex still lingering in the air. Vladimir just made a face as he took the sheets and threw them to the floor. “Can we just burn the bed?”

 

“I am so tempted, you have no idea. It smells like Wesley and your brother,” Matt said dryly.

 

Vladimir made a face at his lover. “I thought you liked the way Anatoly smelled!”

 

“Would you let that go already! I don't like the way he smells in my bed! On my sheets!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end!

**Author's Note:**

> next Anatoly catches them.


End file.
